Friday, May 06, 2005

The Osvaldo Report

I got my haircut today, and you know what that means: It's time for the Osvaldo report!
Osvaldo, my barber, is from the Dominican Republic and like many of the Dominicans in my neighborhood, he is a baseball fanatic. He is very proud to be the barber of many baseball stars whenever they come through New York. His clientele list includes Moises Alou, Miguel Tejada, and Albert Pujos.

Osvaldo the Barber giving Albert Pujos a trim

Yesterday I ran into Osvaldo on the street and he told me that he was going to give Octavio Dotel a haircut today. I told him to make sure ask Octavio what he thought about comming to the Cubs, and to report back to me when I get my haircut.
In the past, Osvaldo has been a good source for insider info on Dominican players (he knew Pedro was coming to New York well before it before it went public, and he swears that Sammy Sosa is at least 3 years older than he claims to be, which makes sense.)
But Osvaldo did not really come through for me this time. He went out drinking with Octavio last night and the two got totally wasted for the Cinco de Mayo. He said he forgot to ask him about the Cubs, but they did talk about a trade that would send Octavio to the Mets along with Eric Chavez in exchange for Mike Piazza. This is of course, ridiculous. The Mets don't need a third baseman, Chavez is Oakland's best hitter, and Piazza is semi-retired.
But hey- you heard it here first.
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Comming Soon: Doctor Dale explains the Disabled List.
Get the Down Low on the DL from Dr. Dale.
The great emergency room physician and part-time Wrigley Field game doc breaks down the injury report in laymans terms and answers your questions like "What is a the hell is a supraspinatis muscle?", and "Can Nomar still...you know...with Mia?"
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Quote of the Day:
"I still believe I can get back before end of the season, I don't know exactly when that is or what month, but I do believe that." Nomar Garciaparra
So, you think you will be back before the end of the season...whenver that is. Sounds reassuring.

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