Friday, August 04, 2006

EDITORIAL--My Lungs to Hendry: "Save Us!"

Well, it's finally happened. Jim Hendry's stupid confidence in Dusty Baker has caused me to do something drastic to end this nonsense. I'm going to start smoking in protest. That's right, Jim Hendry. From this day forth, each day that Dusty Baker is the manager of the Chicago Cubs, I am going to smoke a cigarette.

I'm not a smoker, Jim. I'm not going to enjoy it. My hair, clothes, and breath will stink, my teeth will stain, my food will taste bland, and my wife will probably hate me. But none of it can be as bad as watching your stinky, bland team on the field, and hating them.

An artist's rendition of the current condition of my lungs.



What Jim Hendry can prevent my lungs from becoming.


The Surgeon General has said smoking is bad for you, Jim. It may even kill me. But no more than your team is killing me right now.

So, Jim, do the right thing. If not for me, if not for the fans of the Cubs out there, for my pink and beautiful lungs. Save them, Jim, before they become black enough to play in a day game for your idiot manager.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Dan's First Cousin said...

Dan, if you start smoking, then I'm gonna stop making out with you. I don't kiss smokers.

3:56 PM  
Anonymous cubfandan's mom said...

Hmmmm - a new definition of 'kissing cousins'.

6:09 AM  
Blogger dan the fan said...

great, this blog has gone to hell, now my mom is mingling with my hecklers.
sigh.
by the way, kerm, your healthy lungs look like kool-aid.

5:52 PM  
Anonymous dan's first cousin said...

Oops...

I'll still make out with YOU, BK.

Dan, since your mom knows, we have to stop. For good, this time.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Cubfandan's Mom said...

Memo to dan the fan and his first cousin:
You can run, but you can't hide.

5:48 AM  
Blogger Bad Kermit said...

Oh, thank God I still get some loving out of all of this.

9:06 AM  
Anonymous danthefan's mom said...

NAME CHANGE -
I accidently became cubfandan's Mom.
But actually I am danthefan's Mom.
Momentary memory lapse.
Old person syndrome.
Sorry.
Really.
Sorry.

4:40 AM  
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